Sunday, July 28, 2013



Science Fiction dream. Dark. There is a beach. Something about the sand. A philosophical dialogue happened about being a grain of sand, how many grains are there, and how many different ones, something like that. When the water would flood the land, we would have to stop the conversation because we could no longer speak from experience, so I feared that because it could happen any moment. This was on a distant planet.


Esoteric meeting. We are on a weekend workshop.

I don't remember where the dream starts, but it gets interesting when one person shows a book and asks us what it is about. At that point, we all sit on the floor in the middle of the building, ground floor, halfway the corridor, behind us on the right is the cafe, in-built. Maybe a garden on the right, in front, but we don't go there nor see it. Behind us are more rooms, and the corridor goes a long way in front of us which is all room for holding conferences. I have the feeling all the time that we are sitting in the middle of the hallway. Other people are around.

Where we sit is a small corner. So behind the speaker, who is standing, and in front of me, is a length of wall. He holds up a book and asks if anybody knows it. He shows the front cover in particular. In clear letters you can read DE MONS. People start to say it is "about mountains", and I am thinking: it says "demons", but I think that is my imagination, because why would he talk about that topic. And Elbe is behind me and cannot agree that it is about mountains, and I am with her and she speaks what I think, that the title should be De Montis, and that there must be some mistake. I'm also considering the place called Mons, which also means 'mountains'.

So in the end nobody can guess what the book is about, but then the man in front reveals it is about demons, and I think that it is very obvious. Then the man comes in the middle of the group and sits down on the floor with us. There is carpet, and wooden floor beneath.

At some point he starts a ritual, he is now in a different quarter then before. Let's say at first he was in the North (or maybe East), then now he is in the West (North then). And he is now immediately on my left and I sit right next to him. He starts to do a ritual and it is obvious that he has done this rite many times before. And he has all his stuff with him and it lies there in front of him, on a small animal skin if I perceive it right, and he has a large ceramic bowl in front of him, and between that and him is all the rest for preparation, but I haven't paid enough attention to what lies there. What catches my eye is his knife, it is really sharp and quite large, not like the one I have, and the blade is broad. And first he adds some herbs, like mugwort maybe, in the bowl and then he takes his knife in his right hand and opens his left hand. It is obvious he will draw blood and that this is a sacrificial rite or dedication, although I cannot remember the purpose, so I'm supposing he is invoking demons or spirits. And now I do pay attention because he is about to cut his finger to draw blood and I want to see how he does that, because it must be very painful, and I want to know what part of his finger he will cut, so that I know where to cut myself if ever I need to. And the blade of his knife moves this way and that, as if he cannot decide or is searching the right spot. Maybe he even touches the down part of his leg with his blade, where I usually draw blood. And eventually he stops at his finger, I think his middle finger, and this is of the left hand and on the inside (yin, soft) (or maybe the ring finger, I can't remember precisely, one of those it was), middle section. No blood appears and then it becomes clear what he is doing. The knife is so sharp that he can cut the skin without drawing blood and he sacrifices a slice or peel of skin in the bowl, drops it on top of the herbs that are in it. The purpose of the rite was to do magic, but that is rather vague. And when he offers this he speaks to the demons.

And then he asks us which one he should call, of the demons or spirits. I can't remember what happened then, but I don't think anyone could think of a demon that he or she wanted to invoke, because they all thought it was dangerous.

Later the assembly falls apart into different workshops, most of which are held in the long end of corridor in front of me of before. I walk around, because I am on my own, and somewhere in the middle, there is a young man and I observe him a while. There are some people gathered about him and he has brown hair, and a beard, but not long, and he is in the middle of an explanation, but at the same time he does what he says, so he moves about a lot and says, sings or chants mantras. There is much light, and it feels like this is outside, and maybe there is no roof at all, but behind him is a wall, yellow beige, so it is like we are in the middle of a Middle Eastern city. He is Western but he presents a teaching that is Sufi, it seems.

I think he only wants to be in the spot lights. That is my opinion, the others think he is sincere. He jumps left and right and rolls over and stuff like that.

I walk the length of this path or corridor or street up and down to find my place but there is not one where I can stay. And maybe I am actually looking for someone.

Later it is dinner time and people make ready to eat. Most are still busy, but since I'm doing nothing I am first with my plate and walk about and go to the tables, this is still in the same place, which was the corridor first, but now it is a broad lane, outside, like a parking lot that is reserved for eating. Tables are arranged in such a way that they form one large table. Now it is really outside, and at the end of the lane are even trees. But on the left is still the same wall.

Because I'm first I sit myself at the very first seat there is, which is the beginning of the table, I feel most comfortable here. Then a girl comes and sits next to me. She's been my mate throughout the day, although we are both quite independent and don't make choices for the other. But now it is different, because I finally see my chance to have some time alone with her, and that is exactly what I want, or need. And a third person I can't remember sits with us, but at the same time the others come and they all go to the other end of the table, which is so far away that it is almost a different place, and I feel like I am asocial when I stay here and I still walk about with my plate because I can't decide anymore where to sit, and this is a conflict in my mind. And in fact, the first plate I had was food I made myself, and was still hot, and it had potatoes in a self made curry sauce, with turmeric and so on, and coconut milk, very nice. But when I come to the main group with this the first time, then I enter this room, which is half dark and people there are still busy or ignoring me and I don't know what to do, already eat, go somewhere else, or what? So I leave my dish there and go back and that is when I take the regular food and sit at the end of the table and the girl is there too. And I can't decide where to sit. In the end when everyone has taken seats, I decide to stay with the girl. Her wheel chair is there but she is gone somewhere on her own in the meanwhile. She is quite an independent woman. I think the others will think it is strange I don't sit with them or think that I have the hots for this girl, which is true, but I fear they think I will do dirty things with her, but I don't know what to think myself or what to expect.

When I took my second dish from somewhere and walked with that in my indecisiveness from one end of the table to the other, I had roasted herbs, and among them were two stems of ginger, and they were roasted too, which I did not know you could do, but I taste it and take a bite from one of those stems, and it tastes really good. I am actually surprised that I can eat a lot of fresh ginger at once. I chew and chew, a long time, even when I get to my place I still have this in my mouth. I get this dish from someone, and the place I get it really looks like an oriental or near eastern city, suuq.

So this girl is still busy when I decide to stay with her, and she comes very late, and we are never close, which I think is a pity, because that is exactly what I want.

The dream continues, back inside, at the other end, there is a corner there, a shop, and someone is preparing something there and I happen to be there, and he is young and is hanging posters of a manga or anime series on the wall, and I recognize scenes from Berserk. And the two guys doing this, one is the owner of the place, the other is the young man whose hobby this is, this young man tells me it is a new series of manga, but I can't recall the name, next to Berserk there were two other titles he mentioned, and I knew one of them, but the other was the new one, but I can't remember.



At the end of a dream there are two Dutch men and the one says: "ik ga kamperen, om in een huis te wonen, bij kabouters." I can't remember what it referred to, they were visiting, Belgium, and maybe wanted to sleep in the garden, had there tents with them. English: I am going to camp, to live in a house, with leprechauns.

Something about a table and football. Maybe we sit at the table and discuss football. This is in the shop. And at first we are only two, then later we are four or five people, all men. They come in the shop, between the opening hours, although they have no business with the shop, but I let them, because I know them. I know the first two at least, but the others are helping them. They carry boxes and are moving house or something and I told them they can use our shop. Boxes are behind the counter.

In the meanwhile we go about our business. The boss does not know about this, but he is present. These people come to clean up, and I let them do. They come and go through the doors of the shop. I fear at some point Digr will come down and ask questions. But that is okay, I can explain.

(Some more notes, but I can't read them).


Time to eat, we are out, near the see, family, ordering mussels. I am on my way with my brother D. At some point when I go out the house I bump into aunt L, she has long since separated herself from the family, so I am glad I see her, this is in the house of my parents, kitchen and then veranda. She sees me and recognizes me, lucid moment, see her face. We don't talk. For me it is enough to know that everything is okay with her. Her children must be about somewhere, too.

When we order food, we are still waiting for a person.


Some discussion about the royals. Everyone agrees that King Albert must be glad that he no longer has to guide the forming of a Belgian government.


At home, parents, parents have visitors, but busy themselves with the cleaning up of their house.

Ande is there, and takes the place of my mom, and maybe aunt L (again). They have been out together.

Preparing dinner. Among which all kinds of weird Indonesian cakes and sandwiches. My brothers are also there. I take a good look and can't believe my eyes. Mos things are both sweet and salt. Many have peanut butter and fruits. I am not inclined to eat from this. But the kitchen table is full of those, all in paper, like when you go get chips. They got this from Indonesia, back from their travels, and made it especially for us, but this is not my style at all.

At some point I remove myself from the kitchen and unzip my pants for something and tuck in my shirt again, and then go back and take care that my pants are zipped again and so on before I am back with the others, but I don't really care, so I'm still busy with that when I rejoin the others.

There was another fragment much earlier in the dream which was outside and we, or I, walked along a stone wall, higher then the rest of the town or place, light, can't remember details.

When I am back in the kitchen I decide I should taste one of those weird sandwiches.

There is also a fragment about two slices of fish (heilbot) that Ande wants to put her blood on, because she owes someone or something or because she wants to banish something or expel a person from her life? Anyway I don't recommend it and she looks very uncertain. This is still in the kitchen.

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